Friday, July 29, 2011

Kumik Bangang #2

Kem Pemantapan Organisasi K16 2011/2012

Aritu kan kite kene pegi kem tau. Mule-mule kite memang malas sangat nak pegi, tapi sebab ramai kawan kite pegi, kite pun pegi la. Mule-mule kite kene pegi puchong, buat kem dalam utan. Kena kemah dlm utan lagi tu. Kite takut nyamuk, tapi semua nak pegi, kite buat-buat berani la. Kena masak dalam utan, kena buat unggun api, kena pasang kemah, kena berjage malam. Nasib baik tak ade nyamuk kacau kite malam tu, kalau tak kite dah nangis-nangis dah. Pastu kite kena pegi PD pulak, diorang suruh bincang-bincang program ape ntah. Konon buat kat PD otak kite boleh rilek la, tapi jangan harap nak rilek, nak berak pun kadang-kadang tak sempat. Tapi seronok tau sebab ade kena marah-marah. Kite terime je sebab kite tau diorang marah sebab nak kite same-same berjaye. Apepepun kem ini bagi kite best la sebab makan sedap, banyak lak tu. Yang penting kite dapat same-same dengan kawan-kawan buat same-same semua tu. Kite gembire sangat walaupun malas.

Hello, kalau anda semua tahu, aku kena pegi kem pemantapan organisasi untuk MTM bermula dari hari isnin smpai la semalam(jumaat). Taknak cakap banyak, sebab nanti aku kena tembak macam-macam lak dengan pihak atasan. Tapi yang penting aku happy kat sane. Nak kate tensen, sikit-sikit la. Haha. Enjoy, dari awal sampai akhir. Rase mcm taknak tinggal plak PD tu, makan sedap gile.

Thanks sebab bagi aku peluang ni. Walaupun perangai aku cam laknat, aku try buat yang terbaik. Cheh.

Abang Long Din bos MTM
Pacak banyak kasi nasihat
Kak Ieka suruh guling2
Uki P Dasuki Sukimin
Az diri tegak time bola dtg haha
Pea aku tak tau nak letak ape
Ekim gile posing lebih pantun tak reti
Kema kentut
Ekin partner kema kentut
Am teman sekatil di PD
Q gile ganas perempuan ni
Acap MASUM proposal DOTA lepas bro!
Fariz proposal DOTA lepas bro!#2
Nana muke tanpa tekanan
Marung lawak gile natang ni
Ina gune pantun aku
Jijie rakan fogging
Naz awek Uki P
Isyamg bowie
Wani takut nyamuk
Aimi muka gelabah harhar
Nadia tanye soalan kat aku "kau garang tak?"
Ika kecik babyface so kiut miumiu
Jo kali ni tak patahkan kerusi
Syu kumakuma
Suki perempuan
Faez kaki tidur tak kire mase, di mane jua
Aku

Mohon ampun dan maaf kalau ada lakukan kesalahan. Sama2 kita menuju ke arah kegemilangan bersama.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Singapura 1-30 Malaysia. Singapura tetap menang.


Hello. Seperti yang anda tak ketahui, aku sedang mengikuti satu kem anjuran kolej. Walaupun kem ini amat la padat, namun sempena 2nd leg Harimau lawan Singa, aktiviti pada malam ini jadi amat lepak. Dan atas jasa baik pihak pengurusan, perlawanan itu telah ditayangkan di skrin besar untuk dinikmati oleh peserta kem.

Melihat pada perlawanan, dua-dua main macam sial. Harimau tempang, merapu entah ke mana. Hanya mengharapkan Safee Sali. Singa pula lembik, sikit2 jatuh, sikit2 tergolek. Saja buang masa. Tapi tak boleh salahkan diorang, sebab diorang nak pertahankan lead diorang. Cuma lama-lama jadi annoying haram.

Secara jujurnya aku sokong Singa malam tadi. Sebab berdasarkan perlawanan pertama, Singa main lebih cantik bagi aku. Aku bukan tak patriotik, tapi ini bolasepak, aku cuma minat permainan yang cantik. Kalau Singa kalah tapi main cantik aku tetap salute Singa. Kalau Harimau main cantik tapi kalah jugak, aku akan sokong Harimau. Tapi malam tadi walaupun dua2 main macam haram, aku tetap sokong Singa. Kenapa? Saja seronok2. Ada satu kepuasan bila lihat muka teruja kawan2 aku yang girang gumbira bila Safee jaringkan gol bertukar masam mencuka bila Singa balas balik. Dalam lebih kurang 30 orang yang tengok kat situ, aku je yang sokong Singa. Yeah aku lagi annoying dari permainan Singa. Harhar.

Apa-apapun, itu bolasepak. Aku tetap sayang Malaysia, dan benci orang Singapura yang bawak kereta macam haram kat Malaysia ni. So good game Harimau, but you should do it better.

Keputusan perlawanan:

Malaysia 1(4)-(6)1 Singapura

Cuba lagi di masa hadapan. Aku tahu korang boleh.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Aku universal #4: Electrico


Malas gile aku nak naip.

Malaysia 3 - 5 Singapura:Kronologi Gampang

Hello. Tadi Malaysia lwn Singapura untuk kelayakan Piala Dunia 2014 pusingan kedua 1st leg. Berdasarkan pemerhatian, defends Malaysia agak errr, sampah. Kita diselamatkan oleh Safee 'SuperSafee' Sali dengan dua jaringan.

Minit
1 -Singapore lauk
2-45 -Malaysia lauk banyak
Rehat
46-53 -Layan tengok kad merah
68-70 -Singapore lauk balik
80 -Malaysia dilaukkan lagi

Semoge Safee Sali dpt jaringkan 15 gol masa lawan kat Malaysia nanti.



Friday, July 22, 2011

Mencarut jom

Bangsat.

Ok lega dah sikit.

Oh, esok kena pg kem. Ape alasan aku nak bg supaya xpyh pg join aktiviti outdoor. U know, bdn x fit mcm aku ni mne nak larat buat ape lancau tu semua. Nak pegi dapur dari ruang tamu pun dh semput mcm atok umur 80 melancap.

Satu persoalan, kenapa views blog aku tak tinggi?

Jawapan yang aku berjaya kumpul setakat ini adalah:
1)aku bukan blogger lelaki kacak bergaya atau perempuan cantik manis.
2)blog aku bukan buat cerita lucah,letak link download video lucah kat ziddu atau mediafire dgn letak gmbar perempuan tudung bogel.
3)aku ni byk mencarut
4)blog ni byk merepek. Yang bce blog aku ni semuanya gile mcm aku. Takde kerja. Kire yg x bace tu intelektual gila babi la.
5)aku xletak lagu kat blog aku. Harhar.

Ok,time nak download kat ziddu.

Bukan Gambar Lucah #3: Funny Poster Remakes







Bukan Gambar Lucah #2:Gambar lelaki kucing

Apa salah I?

Ok korang igt lagi pasal lelaki kucing? Yg dorg dok sibuk cakap dulu2 tu. Sekarang aku ada bukti sapa lelaki kucing tu. Nak tau? Tengok kat bawah ni.
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Ala kuci kuci.


Sori untuk lawak tak bermaruah ini.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Bukan Gambar Lucah #1: Awek Hot.

Hello. Seperti dijanjikan, saya telah menyediakan satu post untuk awek hot. Hot ke x terpulang kepada mata memandang.








Last but not least...
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Comel tak?

Terima kasih kepada kwn saya GG kerana memberi idea untuk post gampang ini.

Aku universal. #4 : Newermind A Tribute To Nirvana

Hello sekali lagi.

Dapat tahu benda ni dari BlogSerius.

Jadi kepada semua peminat Nirvana, sial lah, eh sila lah download. Percuma. Mana lagi mau dapat bro benda2 free best camni sekarang.



Download jgn x download.

Kereta #3: Bizzarini




Hello. Sekarang saya sudah rajin menulis. Hari ini saya akan cerita serba sedikit mengenai Bizzarini.

Bizzarini S.p.A merupakan syarikat pengeluar kereta (car manufacturer) pada 1960an. Ditubuhkan oleh Giotto Bizzarini yang merupakan bekas engineer Alfa Romeo, Ferrari dan ISO. Fokus untuk mengeluarkan kereta high performance yang limited kuantitinya. Tamat perkhidmatan pada 1969 sebelum direvive balik pada 2000s.

Bizzarini Europa

5300GT Strada

P538S

Lebih info di:wikipedia

Kumik Bangang #1

Immunation to lava



Source:Trollscience

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Bukan Video Lucah #1: Free Runner




(aku dah makin malas menulis sendiri rupanya. f.)

Number 23:Facts

John Forbes Nash, the Nobel Prize-winning economist who was the subject of the film, A Beautiful Mind, starring Russell Crowe, was obsessed with 23. It featured prominently in his battle with mental illness. His breakdown began when he claimed that a photograph of Pope John XXIII on the cover of Life magazine was in fact him, the proof being that 23 was his favourite number. Nash published 23 scientific articles.

The Knights Templar, the order of soldier monks who eventually fell foul of the Vatican and have been the subject of conspiracy theories about the Holy Grail, had 23 Grand Masters.

Each parent contributes 23 chromosomes to the start of human life. The nuclei of cells in human bodies have 46 chromosomes made out of 23 pairs. Egg and sperm cells in humans have 23 chromosomes which fuse and divide to create an embryo.

"W" is the 23rd letter of the Latin alphabet. It has two points down and three points up. White supremacists use 23 to represent "W" as a mark of racial superiority.

The first morse code transmission - "What hath God wrought?" - was from the Bible passage Numbers 23:23. In telegraphers code 23 means "break the line".

In the science fantasy saga, Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and Chewbacca sneak into detention block AA23 to rescue Princess Leia. The rescue attempt is botched and Leia escapes only by dodging Stormtroopers' laserfire. A police robot called 23 is included in Star Wars director George Lucas' first film, THX 1138.

William Shakespeare was born in Stratford Upon Avon on 23 April 1564. He died 52 years later on his birthday, 23 April 1616. Kurt Cobain, the god of grunge, was born in 1967 and died in 1994 - 1+9+6+7= 23, 1+9+9+4 = 23.

Few hold 23 in more esteem than the followers of Discordianism, a self-declared religion based on the premise that discord and chaos are the building blocks of life. For Discordianists, 23 is the Holy Number and a tribute to the goddess Eris, who surveys a world of chaos. The mantra invoked by Discordianists for the Holy Number is "Invert The Pyramid". If you invert the sentence one letter at a time - eg "dinvert the pyramid", "id invert the pyram" etc - it takes 22 chants, finished by the line "The Pyramid Inverts" to make 23. The last line is called "the final energy releaser". Discordianism is described by some followers as "a joke disguised as a religion disguised as a joke".

The terrorist attacks on America on 11 September 2001 have been held up as one of the most portentous examples of the disturbing power of 23. The figures in the date (9+11+2+0+0+1) add up to 23. The independent US commission which investigated the attacks found the date had been chosen randomly by the hijackers and had originally been planned for later in the year. Alternative explanations for the date included the taking over of Palestine by Britain in 1922 and the fact that 911 is the US emergency code.

The Birthday Paradox states that a group of 23 randomly-selected people is the smallest number where there will be a probability higher than 50 per cent that two people will share the same birthday.

Science Facts

A rubber tire is actually one single giant molecule.

Dynamite contains peanuts as an ingredient.

Gallium is a metal which melts on palm of the hand, due to its low melting point (29.76 °C).

The noble gas Xenon lasers can cut through materials that are so tough even diamond tipped blades will not cut.

The five states of matter are: Plasmas, Gases, Liquids, Solids and Bose-Einstein Condensates.

Hot water freezes faster than cold water (the Mpemba effect.)

The coldest state of matter — Bose-Einstein Condensate superfluid — defies gravity and instead of flowing down, it flows upward.

Each time lightning strikes, some Ozone gas is produced, thus strengthening the Ozone Layer in the Earth's atmosphere. (petir bukan je fungsi nak panah setan.)

The element Californium is often called the most expensive substance in the world (as much as $68 million for one gram.)

The human body contains enough carbon to provide 'lead' (which is really graphite) for about 9,000 pencils.

The metal with the highest melting point is tungsten, at 3410 degrees Celcius (6170F)

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for Blood plasma.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Whats is marketing? What is spam?

Perhaps the following analogies will help clear it up:
You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." -- That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "She's fantastic in bed." -- That's Advertising.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed." -- That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You get up and straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I," and reach up to straighten his tie brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed." -- That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed." -- That's Brand Recognition.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into going home with your friend. -- That's a Sales Rep.

Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you. -- That's Tech Support.

You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!" -- That's spam

Funny quotes


1. Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

4. I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

5. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

6. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

7. You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

8. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

9. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

10. Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she will take it anyway.

11. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

12. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

13. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

14. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

15. You are getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

16. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

17. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

18. It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

19. There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

20. It is no exaggeration to say that the undecided could go one way or another.

Kereta #2: Porsche 911 GT3 RS 4.0

Hello. Aku memang minat Porsche. Punca masa aku masih baru belajar ABC, aku main satu game kereta. Dalam banyak2 kereta, aku pilih Porsche, dan sejak tu aku mula suka Porsche.

Now, sedialah untuk orgasm. Introducing to you, Porsche 911 GT3 RS 4.0.

Let me have sex with you, please?

-4.0-litre flat-six, 500hp, 8,250rpm, max torque 339 pound-feet at 5,750rpm
-Weight 2998 pound
-0-60mph 3.8sec, 193mph
-600 units
-$185,000

More info:Autoblog

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Kereta #1:My dad and cars

Hari ini kita cerita pasal kereta. Bukan pasal kere. Ok?

Ayah aku sangat suka beli majalah kereta. Ada dalam 4-5 kotak besar jugak koleksi dia. Aku nak beli Mangga tak kasi. Tapi dia perabih duit beli majalah kereta tu boleh pulak.

Dulu ayah aku ada VW Beetle, lepas tu dia beli Mazda model apa aku tak ingat. Sekarang ada Wira dengan Serena. Aku suka Wira tu sebab dia manual, Serena auto, aku noob bawak auto.

Dalam minda ayah aku, tersimpan berjuta-juta data pasal kereta. Kalau kat lebuhraya, bila ada kereta mahal2 lalu je, dia akan kasi tau nama kereta tu. Contoh, "Tu Mercs, CL500." atau "Eh tu ape kereta sorong tu buat kat tengah jalan raye?"

Dalam tandas bilik tidur parents aku bersepah majalah kereta. Dengan CBT NST hari ahad. Bace pasal kereta dapat lancarkan perjalanan ta**, ayah aku cakap.

Ayah aku suka betulkan sendiri kereta. Kalau rosak teruk je dia hantar kereta pegi bengkel.Atau bila dia betulkan sampai rosak teruk. Kes tikus baiki labu.

Ayah aku sntiasa excited bila lalu kedai jual kereta terpakai.


Kenapa aku cerita pasal ayah aku? Sebab dia la aku pun minat pasal kereta ni.

Lepas ni aku akan buat post pasal kereta yang aku minat. Ok?

Friday, July 8, 2011

Tips Menyambut Ramadan Al-Mubarak

Assalamualaikum.

Ye saudara dan saudari sekalian. Saya, Ustaz Mursyidul Hampas akan berkongsi dengan anda tips yang berguna untuk anda menyambut ketibaan bulan Ramadan Al-Mubarak. Seperti yang anda ketahui, beberapa hari lagi kita akan menyambut bulan Puasa, bulan Ramadan yang diberkati. Oleh itu mari bersama-sama saya melihat apakah tips bagi menyambut Ramadan Al-Mubarak:
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Ganti posa dulu lah weh! Sibuk pasai posa watpa? Haha.

Sekian. Jumpa lagi di waktu lain.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Bersih,Biasiswa,Mahkamah.

Hi lama saya tak menulis, mencarut, mengarut di ruang blog kegemaran saya ni. Jadi sempena malam Jum'at yang mulia ini izinkan saya menulis tentang sebarang dua perkara. Mungkin 3, mungkin 4, siapa tahu?

1) Bersih
Haha aku tak ambil tahu sangat pasal benda ni. So aku nak cerita camne kalau aku taknak ambil tahu? Ok aku cerita ikut apa yang aku baca kat surat khabar(mostly pro kerajaan punya)

-Sebenarnya apa yang Bersih tu nak? Keadilan? Yeke? Kalau nak buat demonstrasi tu sampai kacau ketenteraman orang lain, kau rase adil tak?

-Dah Najib nak kasi stadium tu, yang lain tu bising buat ape? Dah tu buat jela kat situ. Kalau orang Bersih nak bising satu hal, orang anti Bersih pun ikut menyalak huha huha woff woff jugak. Sekurang-kurangnya kalau buat kat stadium tu diorang takla buat haruk kat jalanraya. Kalau stadium tu rosak, buat stadium baru, kerajaan kan pandai perabih duit rakyat.

-Bagi aku kalau nak buat tu, boleh je. Kasi je. Tapi dengan syarat, Bersih perlu tanggung semua kos, termasuk kos kerugian orang ramai. Lepas tu kalau ada kedai-kedai yang terpaksa tanggung rugi sebab ada demonstrasi, pemilik kedai ada hak untuk menyaman orang-orang Bersih. Orang awam pun kalau rasa terganggu boleh saman.

-Pasal yang bawak molotov cocktail, parang. Tu aku macam tak bape percaya sangat. Mungkin tu konspirasi atasan untuk melumpuhkan dan menarik kepercayaan penyokong Bersih. Mcm R-Truth ckp, "tu smue konspirasi tu."

-Bersih ada kebaikan, contohnya bagi idea kat RTM buat iklan bersihkan kampung. Haha.

-Ada kawan aku ajak pegi. Well, aku lagi suka berdiri atas pagar dan gelakkan kebodohan orang ramai.

2)Biasiswa

Pasal biasiswa pulak. Biasiswa JPA, kot. Najib cakap perlu ada cara pemilihan yang betul-betul betul (huh?haha) untuk memilih penerima biasiswa. Cadangan aku:

-Buat satu tempat khas untuk calon2 ni, macam matrikulasi, tapi lebih tinggi tarafnya. Buat selama 1,2 tahun.

-Kaji silibus yang gila babi punye menyiksa akal untuk mereka belajar. Boleh ambil dari universiti ternama luar negara dan disesuaikan.

-Penilaian berterusan diutamakan. Peperiksaan akhir pula diwakili cuma 20% markah, penilaian berterusan 80% markah.

-Penilaian berterusan boleh buat mcm kat universiti tu,mcm pembentangan kumpulan,etc

-Calon yang terpilih perlu aktif dalam aktiviti luar kuliah. Yang halal. Aktiviti luar turut diberi markah.

-Akhir nanti, cuma calon dgn CGPA 3.8 ke atas sahaja ditawarkan ke luar negara. 3.5 ke atas ditawarkan di dalam negara, tapi masih mendapat tajaan. Selebihnya masuk U guna PTPTN.

Well, itu idea aku. Lagipun aku rasa lagi untung buat mcmni dari kasi biasiswa terus kat budak-budak lepasan SPM tu. Fikir-fikir balik, mcm sama je kat U,kat sekolah idea aku ni.

3)Mahkamah

Wow sekarang memang banyak kes besar-besar kat mahkamah. Aku jadi teruja nak bace suratkhabar sekarang. Kalau dulu bace sukan,kartun. Pastu bace yang lain nanti2. Ikut suratkhabar Sinar Harian semalam(bapak aku suka betul beli ni, ada NST, tapi ada dalam bilik air dia.)kita ada kes:
-Sosilawati pemilik Nouvelle(sori kalau salah eja.) kena bunuh
-Ahmad Sarbaini pegawai Kastam bunuh diri/kena bunuh
Ikut kes2 tersebut, memang banyak konspirasi yang boleh kita andaikan. Orang Malaya ni bijak2 jugak ya?

4)Kaitan Bersih,Biasiswa,Mahkamah

Ntah.